Let's be real here.
5:55:00 PM
These past couple months have had me in a slump, if we're being completely honest. My friends would know. I find myself over exhausted, overthinking, and unsatisfied. I can never pinpoint exactly what it is. The closest thing I can compare it to is longing for some sort of new joy + and excitement, a start of a new venture, but falling short of opportunities. It's like the world just gives way on you all of a sudden. Nothing goes right.
Things are disappointing, and even more so, people.
I baked cinnamon buns (from scratch) last night until 1 am, while chatting with my aunt, who was sitting on the kitchen bar stool. I bake when I'm stressed out.. And to this day, I think I've made enough homemade cakes, brownies, cookies and even pancakes to even keep track of anymore - all as stress relievers. I'm officially a suburban housewife.
Things are disappointing, and even more so, people.
I baked cinnamon buns (from scratch) last night until 1 am, while chatting with my aunt, who was sitting on the kitchen bar stool. I bake when I'm stressed out.. And to this day, I think I've made enough homemade cakes, brownies, cookies and even pancakes to even keep track of anymore - all as stress relievers. I'm officially a suburban housewife.
People will often try to feed me the - "you are too young to have problems" comment. Agreed, youth is not supposed to be filled with stresses and "problems" all the time - but ontop of crucial education decisions and countless hours of trying to achieve certain goals, you lose yourself a bit. You get tired. I am tired. In honesty, this past semester has been difficult for me. I'm not a math-y kind of person... At all, and 90% of my problems come straight from that class. Next semester has me a little eased with a writing class and other courses I seem to fit a little more. Figuring out further education plans/career paths is like being thrown into deep water and frantically using your own devices in hopes to stay afloat. I'm a little scared. I'm a mediocre swimmer.
I think people just need reassurance in the fact that situations eventually get better + that the world won't fold on them; myself included.
And I totally get it. Life gets so tiring; especially when things don't turn out how you want them to. Sometimes I think about how petty my stresses and how trivial my "problems" really are - it puts things into perspective. It could be far worse.. There ARE far worse situations, and many of them. I am lucky just to even be here - able body, and all.
On another note, apart from the blog - I've been writing a lot more personal pieces that I'm very pleased with. You've probably subliminally read some of them on Twitter. Debating on sharing them.. But then again, maybe these words are better off kept to me. We'll see...
In the meantime, while I try to rid this weird rut I've been running through I'll stick to baking cinnamon rolls till 1 AM. Hear me out, I'll hear you out. I'll comp you some homemade cinnamon rolls too.
Things are easier that way, for now, at least.
x lj
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