I'm never quite sure how to wrap my head around how you truly are.

Maybe you're comparable to Mulholland at night -- only headlights and stopping for the nearest lookout. You are the beauty of LA without the cheap gimmicks and plastic surgery and whatever the hell else comes along with stereotypical California. You make me as dizzy as these winding roads; further and further up and around they go. Maybe it's in the six cups of coffee you drink or the courage you down at night. Maybe it's in the stillness of the morning, maybe it's the madness you invite.

It's in your eyes. It has always been - communicating words you want to say but would never show. It's just something you do. Eyes of greens and greys, reminiscent of autumn mornings and fields of haze. They read my intricate bones, they guide me on my way back home.

But maybe - just maybe, you aren't any of these things - maybe you are. Once again, I'm never too sure of you. Maybe this is the product of what I dreamt you up to be.

You are in all of these things, filling each and every busy corner in places that now deserve a second look. Places I wouldn't dare explore before I met you. Songs I would have skipped before I met you. Some peace of mind I wouldn't have known before I met you.

x lj


Shot by Margaret Sha

I always enjoy trying on clothing that isn't mine. I absolutely love going through my friends' closets and finding little pieces I don't have in my own. The other day, I went over to my best friend's house and took my three favourite items of hers: a (faux) leather jacket, an oversized thrifted t-shirt, and some mustard brown pants. Helps having style savy friends -- am I right?

My concern lies in our generation and more importantly, in the mentality of the upcoming. Thinking of the condition of the world that we may raise our children and their children and our children's children in scares me beyond measures. With a society that constantly steals and appropriates from black culture -- won't society at least know to take a stand for the people behind the culture they steal from? The culture being discriminated against? The ones who are killed on the daily without justice being served? We, as a collective society, take all we want from black culture, but after it is all said and done, do we show up for black lives? It irks me that the masses seem to be concerned with being deemed "racist" than with racism itself. That doesn't sit well with me.

A discussion I had a long while back with a couple of my good friends comes to mind, sparked by a song titled "White Privilege II". Black Lives Matter. Think of it as a simple analogy of a single house on fire, midst a subdivision of many houses. The fire department wouldn't arrive and hose down all the houses - simply because they are not all burning. In that moment, the burning house matters most. The burning house needs the most help.

My heart is beyond broken for the families of the victims wrongfully taken. How are you to explain to a young daughter that vulnerability of her father's life was placed in and taken by the hands of someone we are told to put trust in to protect us? It leads me to believe that, chances are, the victims were too good for what is happening on this earth right now. Violence, hate, brutality and political mistrust will never win, I cannot promise a lot of things, but I can at least promise you that.

As a person of colour, it is only right that support is shown in the direction it needs to be. We must raise awareness for issues amongst other races where the injustice is evidently prevalent. Using the internet on various platforms, I believe it is my responsibility to spread awareness and take a stand for those who are no longer with us; who can no longer speak. Yes, I have experienced my own share of discrimination against my culture and have seen racism being spread around Asian customs, but by first glance, no one bothers to deem us as "criminals" or "thugs". This is a stereotype many black Americans deal with every day. I will likely never experience, know or understand the fear of getting pulled over by a cop and having a gun drawn at me. For that, I recognize how lucky I am. This may not be my reality, but it is for many. Right now, I am not important. This is not about me. I never want my closest friends, cousins of half-black decent, or anyone - for that matter, to ever have to be afraid of the people who are supposed to protect them.

Realize that this is not something taken out of an ancient history book. This is happening in 2016 - a time when you and I are alive and walking this earth. A very wise and stellar history teacher once said something I will never forget: "fear drives politics". To that, I expand and apply his statement to the current circumstances. Though, hopefully, this lingering "fear" is for the condition of the world and not a fear of skin colour or fear of senseless acts of police brutality. Do not be disconnected from the truth of this reality. This is real. This is happening.

We must progress as a society to a place where race, religion, gender, sexual orientation - where the colour of our skin - doesn't alter how we are treated or how we treat each other. Importance and worth do not depend on any of these factors. Erase the stigma. We are not here to take a life for a life. We are not to be or feel defeated. We are not done here, we are far from it.

Be the change. Use your voice. You can do great things by speaking up, I swear it be true.

You are heard.

x lj