Here's a selfie and some thoughts.
3:19:00 AM
Ah, we meet again at an unearthly hour.
I had a couple thoughts running around my head as of late, so I thought I'd share a bit. What a thing it is to be single. In my head, the switch goes on and off quite frequently. Some days are better than others when it comes to dealing with being single and feeling alone while the rest of the world is seemingly in love. It's unavoidable for the most part. I can't walk down the street without seeing a few couples and even more so, my own friends are in relationships. When I was younger, looking to the age I'm at now all seemed so far away and out of my reach. I thought I'd be the 'coolest', the most 'popular', and I thought I'd have the biggest babe of a boyfriend - all the thoughts from my 8 year old self. Boy, was I wrong.
I always get asked by family members; "so do you have a boyfriend now?", year after year, the same answer is still no (this is your cue to please stop asking). I just smile and shake my head. It came to a point where I thought something was wrong with me. The inability for others to 'like' me for me transcended into a self issue. Then I realized that a significant other would not define me. No boyfriend could ever make me any better than I already am. I figured that out for myself. What truly made me entertain the thought of this whole entry was my aunt's facebook post of how 8 years ago today on 7/7/7, she would've been walking down the aisle to marry her, at the time being, 'love of her life'. The post ran alongside a photo with a quote saying "we need to teach our daughters to be somebodies, not somebody's". Ding ding ding. Back onto what I said, being 'someone's' does NOT define or enhance who you are, but maybe only the experience.
That being said, some days I really do wish I had someone. Someone to lay on the floor with and spin a Ryan Adams record with - a glass of wine, the moon displayed up in the sky until the sun graces around, etc, yada yada, all that sappy romantic teenage movie crap. I say this often to my friends - if I had him, my Instagram feed would be of him all the time; mowing the lawn, driving, attempting to cook dinner and accidentally burning the house down. They respond with the witty "I'd unfollow you" or the "you'll probably lose all your followers" remark. HA. I won't bother scratching the surface too much, but often someone appears in my head when I write about all of this. Unattainable, unrealistic and just out of forethought.
If you're already in a relationship - COOL. Love freely + love with the whole of your being. Love who you love because love is love is love.
If you're single like the rest of us - Chill out and take it slow. There is no real rush. You will learn a lot about yourself being solitary.
If you're already in a relationship - COOL. Love freely + love with the whole of your being. Love who you love because love is love is love.
If you're single like the rest of us - Chill out and take it slow. There is no real rush. You will learn a lot about yourself being solitary.
Think about it. You will find your half someday, maybe not now, but one day. And to mine- WHEREVER YOU ARE IN THIS UNIVERSE, I'll always try my best for you. I'll get up to make you breakfast (sometimes). I'll probably try to teach you Backstreet Boys choreography at some point. I'll love you someday.
x lj
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