Fast forward to midway through this year, Gloria, a friend of mine (and also the most amazing, stellar photographer ever, duh) texted me that a magazine was doing open calls for writers/photographers/creatives and that I should give it a shot. And so I did, and here I am writing this entry to you. Already, within my first month and a bit, have a couple things to look forward to in the coming months - so stay tuned! Big thank you to the Unclear team for letting me write without restrictions and with arms wides open, extending a platform for me to share with a new crowd. I can't wait to grow alongside a team and help build this amazing publication. Also thank you to Gloria for always helping me grow as a writer and feeding me new ideas/opportunities. I'm so lucky to know someone like you.

And how could I ever forget - thank you to whoever has paid mind to anything I've ever written. It still means the very world to me, I know I say that too much. The encouragement, support and whatever else you've shown me never goes unnoticed, whether it be through a comment, 'like' or even just simply taking in what I have to say. As a writer, my only aim is to get across to people who might feel the same way, hoping to make it clear that there is someone else in this world who feels the exact same as they might. Slowly, slowly making these writing dreams into reality and letting the words run wild....

x lj

MY ARTICLES FOR UNCLEAR MAGAZINE (more coming soon!):

'THE ABILITY TO FEEL'

'DISAPPEAR HERE' / BAD SUNS ALBUM REVIEW

I'm never quite sure how to wrap my head around how you truly are.

Maybe you're comparable to Mulholland at night -- only headlights and stopping for the nearest lookout. You are the beauty of LA without the cheap gimmicks and plastic surgery and whatever the hell else comes along with stereotypical California. You make me as dizzy as these winding roads; further and further up and around they go. Maybe it's in the six cups of coffee you drink or the courage you down at night. Maybe it's in the stillness of the morning, maybe it's the madness you invite.

It's in your eyes. It has always been - communicating words you want to say but would never show. It's just something you do. Eyes of greens and greys, reminiscent of autumn mornings and fields of haze. They read my intricate bones, they guide me on my way back home.

But maybe - just maybe, you aren't any of these things - maybe you are. Once again, I'm never too sure of you. Maybe this is the product of what I dreamt you up to be.

You are in all of these things, filling each and every busy corner in places that now deserve a second look. Places I wouldn't dare explore before I met you. Songs I would have skipped before I met you. Some peace of mind I wouldn't have known before I met you.

x lj


Shot by Margaret Sha

A two month hiatus is long enough, right? Seemingly long enough to get a few things together (myself, included), set my priorities and to clear my mind a bit. Some would call it "writer's block" and I would be led to call it a "creative block", but I don't believe in that. Inspiration is everywhere and most days we are just blind; susceptible to believing we don't have it in us when we do. Within the past two months I've experienced a lot more than expected - some good, a handful of bad, and a lot of plain haziness... tossed in with six seasons of The Office and one too many bags of flaming hot cheetos.

It took weeks to fully reflect and begin the preliminary stages of healing after losing someone close to my heart. I'm led to believe, and thoroughly convinced, that the hardest part about a sudden passing is never being able to say what was needed. For that, I am beyond heartbroken; heartbroken I will never get another chat, laugh or chance to say everything I still had in me. So say it - and say it while you still have the chance. You don't have the people you love forever, even the ones you know to be the strongest.

All I can describe this as is some kind of beautiful mess.

A beautiful mess. It's a mixture of everything, above all things. It's taking loss and turning it into life again. This is healing. It's the odd day when feeling the sun on your skin doesn't burn, when most days you would shy away from the light. It's a Saturday midnight catching up with friends by the bay. Really, this "beautiful mess" can be anything you choose.

Above is a little excerpt I contributed to the Local Wolves magazine for their May issue (which you can check out here). Written above is a little reminder that bad days end and better ones come again. Take care of yourself and take care of each other - give what you have to those who need it more than you do.

Through all of this -- I've recently learned that I am the greatest BS-er in the history of all BS-ers, especially when it comes to writing essays. That, and also the fact that everything eventually clears if you choose to let the sun back in.

We're all alright.

Other than writing for my own blog, I've always thought of doing a writing side project - but I never knew just what. I never had any direction/time or that clear of a head to carry the idea out. Likewise, Lily - who I met through a common interest of one of our favourite bands and this thing called Instagram, had the same idea. We bonded over astrology, music, and writing. This is basically how 'BONES' came to life.

I had a few words written in my notebook/planner this week as a self-reminder and it sparked a little inspiration.

 "WRITE WRITE WRITE. This is a good week to do so. You'll want to remember."

 As an unpublished, 'unprofessional', self-proclaimed writer, I never really know when inspiration will make an appearance or when my brain will give me a fair, decent shot at producing a well written piece. I can conclude that published, professional authors would say the same. That's when notebooks or even the notes section in our iPhones come in handy; maybe even recording a voice memo. But I'd have you know that pouring our minds onto paper isn't the easiest thing most days. Finally, to those who asked - you get a look into this little poetry book I carry around.

Blogging is so weird. I write posts, edit them, take photos with self-timer and a tripod, write a little more, come up with more ideas, write, check what entries get the most views, cater to the demographics, write, repeat, etc.. all by myself for the most part. I write during all my spares between classes, gather inspiration by reading whatever I can get my hands on, adapt writing styles from various authors and rebuild upon my own.

I get things done.

I thought I'd give you an update about where I stand as of right now.