I have so much doubt in my system, it's unhealthy. Doubt about the future. Doubt with trust. Doubt in faith. Doubt about 'friendship'. Doubting other people. Doubt in myself. At the rate I've used the word 'doubt', I don't remember its true meaning anymore. I step back and ask myself if feeling this disconnected from everything/everyone is normal. It seems as if being in my own head is the only place I feel most comfortable, but sometimes comfort is overrated and not what I want. It's never what I want. Then again, maybe something good will come from straying from comfort. Doesn't it always?

My brain is going 200 miles per hour in a direction I don't know. I'm running on exhaustion and I'm half hearted to the touch. All I've been listening to is that Oasis album nobody seems to like. I've been reading sonnets I wouldn't care about on a regular day. I'm tired of living just to get past the week, only to be chased by another shitty week. I no longer know if I want the people I have to work so hard to keep in my life. Is that a bad thing? DRA explains it as "trying to hold onto someone" while you, yourself, are spinning out of control. And is it such a bad thing now to just let go?

My highlight looks great. I have that going for me, at very least.

x lj

(Ps, apologize if I get quiet on here periodically. Probably coming up with new storms and riding new waves I don't know of yet.)