It's been awhile since I've visited my blog and let alone, long enough since I've written on this thing! A lot has happened in my life in the past year and a half - graduation, first year of university, a lot of working as of late, on top of figuring out this whole life thing. I've been learning a lot about myself and where I want to get to, in the process.

As someone who needs to live and breathe creativity in all aspects of life, the idea of pumping out constant blog entries for the sake of posting scares me. Really, really scares me. Which is probably one of the main reasons I began slowing down on here. I ventured to pour my creativity into different forms and figures such as launching PURE INTENTION, a creative based online collective of vintage fashion, visuals and words. While being away from the blog, I also began to make a conscious effort to truly build genuine relationships with the people around me and just experience my life as it was.

In all honesty, though it might have not seemed like it, I constantly thought about reviving and writing on this blog again. Each time I tried previously, it just didn't feel like the right time to do so. I also didn't want to jump into it half-heartedly -- this blog is my baby! Fast forward to today, I know I'm ready to give it another go and have it be even better than the last time around.

Though everything that has happened in a year's time is beyond too much for me to explain or even tell, hopefully with time I can share bits and pieces of what I've learned, been able to experience and who I'm becoming.

STAY TUNED! I LOVE YOU!


x lj

Here's where to catch me:

IG: @LEGACYJYNN

TWITTER: @LEGACYJYNN

TUMBLR: MISS-TODAY.TUMBLR.COM

POETRY: LEGACYJYNN.TUMBLR.COM

What a weird year it's been, truly. I floated for the vast majority of it and can hardly remember anything. A friend described 2016 as seeing the "realest" version of myself, for the first time. And by "realest" i mean breakdowns on top of bad days and hardly any sleep and panic attacks, drowned into a cocktail of my own tears. If that doesn't sound depressing, then I really don't know what else is. It's weird to think about. I was only happy last year.

I just realized that it's been awhile since I've last shared what music has been on repeat for the past bit, let alone written on this thing, for that matter. I apologize once again! Life is pulling me in so many directions right now, I can hardly think/see/write straight. My playlist has been a little bit of everything lately - Usher to Marcy Playground to The Killers to Solange. I'm on Spotify if you want to check out some of my playlists as well! @LEGACYJYNN, as per usual.

SOME MIGHT SAY / OASIS

Yaaaasss! We've made it past September! Barely! Kind of! It's been a busy month, not too much to say really, but a lot of planning for the future. Growing up is strange. Midst the madness of September, I listed up a few favourite things. Kinda Drake-y. Kind of all over the place.

DRAKE REVENGE HOODIE

Fast forward to midway through this year, Gloria, a friend of mine (and also the most amazing, stellar photographer ever, duh) texted me that a magazine was doing open calls for writers/photographers/creatives and that I should give it a shot. And so I did, and here I am writing this entry to you. Already, within my first month and a bit, have a couple things to look forward to in the coming months - so stay tuned! Big thank you to the Unclear team for letting me write without restrictions and with arms wides open, extending a platform for me to share with a new crowd. I can't wait to grow alongside a team and help build this amazing publication. Also thank you to Gloria for always helping me grow as a writer and feeding me new ideas/opportunities. I'm so lucky to know someone like you.

And how could I ever forget - thank you to whoever has paid mind to anything I've ever written. It still means the very world to me, I know I say that too much. The encouragement, support and whatever else you've shown me never goes unnoticed, whether it be through a comment, 'like' or even just simply taking in what I have to say. As a writer, my only aim is to get across to people who might feel the same way, hoping to make it clear that there is someone else in this world who feels the exact same as they might. Slowly, slowly making these writing dreams into reality and letting the words run wild....

x lj

MY ARTICLES FOR UNCLEAR MAGAZINE (more coming soon!):

'THE ABILITY TO FEEL'

'DISAPPEAR HERE' / BAD SUNS ALBUM REVIEW

x lj

My interests fluctuate so frequently I can hardly keep up with myself sometimes (I'm about half joking, haha). I know the month isn't over just yet, but I figured I'd share a few of my favourites early -- for no reason. Just because! August reminds me of a lot of things and in short, is when I start to feel summer winding down. This upcoming month is about to be the start of something new, yet simultaneously the end of something (but I'll save that 'something' for many, many long and wordy entries to come...).

Anyways, here are some things I enjoyed this last month -- hope you dig.

I'm never quite sure how to wrap my head around how you truly are.

Maybe you're comparable to Mulholland at night -- only headlights and stopping for the nearest lookout. You are the beauty of LA without the cheap gimmicks and plastic surgery and whatever the hell else comes along with stereotypical California. You make me as dizzy as these winding roads; further and further up and around they go. Maybe it's in the six cups of coffee you drink or the courage you down at night. Maybe it's in the stillness of the morning, maybe it's the madness you invite.

It's in your eyes. It has always been - communicating words you want to say but would never show. It's just something you do. Eyes of greens and greys, reminiscent of autumn mornings and fields of haze. They read my intricate bones, they guide me on my way back home.

But maybe - just maybe, you aren't any of these things - maybe you are. Once again, I'm never too sure of you. Maybe this is the product of what I dreamt you up to be.

You are in all of these things, filling each and every busy corner in places that now deserve a second look. Places I wouldn't dare explore before I met you. Songs I would have skipped before I met you. Some peace of mind I wouldn't have known before I met you.

x lj


Shot by Margaret Sha

I always enjoy trying on clothing that isn't mine. I absolutely love going through my friends' closets and finding little pieces I don't have in my own. The other day, I went over to my best friend's house and took my three favourite items of hers: a (faux) leather jacket, an oversized thrifted t-shirt, and some mustard brown pants. Helps having style savy friends -- am I right?

A two month hiatus is long enough, right? Seemingly long enough to get a few things together (myself, included), set my priorities and to clear my mind a bit. Some would call it "writer's block" and I would be led to call it a "creative block", but I don't believe in that. Inspiration is everywhere and most days we are just blind; susceptible to believing we don't have it in us when we do. Within the past two months I've experienced a lot more than expected - some good, a handful of bad, and a lot of plain haziness... tossed in with six seasons of The Office and one too many bags of flaming hot cheetos.

It took weeks to fully reflect and begin the preliminary stages of healing after losing someone close to my heart. I'm led to believe, and thoroughly convinced, that the hardest part about a sudden passing is never being able to say what was needed. For that, I am beyond heartbroken; heartbroken I will never get another chat, laugh or chance to say everything I still had in me. So say it - and say it while you still have the chance. You don't have the people you love forever, even the ones you know to be the strongest.

All I can describe this as is some kind of beautiful mess.

A beautiful mess. It's a mixture of everything, above all things. It's taking loss and turning it into life again. This is healing. It's the odd day when feeling the sun on your skin doesn't burn, when most days you would shy away from the light. It's a Saturday midnight catching up with friends by the bay. Really, this "beautiful mess" can be anything you choose.

Above is a little excerpt I contributed to the Local Wolves magazine for their May issue (which you can check out here). Written above is a little reminder that bad days end and better ones come again. Take care of yourself and take care of each other - give what you have to those who need it more than you do.

Through all of this -- I've recently learned that I am the greatest BS-er in the history of all BS-ers, especially when it comes to writing essays. That, and also the fact that everything eventually clears if you choose to let the sun back in.

We're all alright.

I have so much doubt in my system, it's unhealthy. Doubt about the future. Doubt with trust. Doubt in faith. Doubt about 'friendship'. Doubting other people. Doubt in myself. At the rate I've used the word 'doubt', I don't remember its true meaning anymore. I step back and ask myself if feeling this disconnected from everything/everyone is normal. It seems as if being in my own head is the only place I feel most comfortable, but sometimes comfort is overrated and not what I want. It's never what I want. Then again, maybe something good will come from straying from comfort. Doesn't it always?

The first thing I want to clear out is that only real problem I have associated with the term 'feminist' or 'feminism' is when people use it to be apart of a fad. It is not a fad, it is a movement -- and yes, it is so real. It is not something 'cool' one second and gone the next. We're talking women's lives here. We're talking rights and freedoms. We're talking inequality. We're talking equality. We're talking power risen from a struggle. This is no fad. We almost don't need the label to define us... it's not something to be called or to be said solely, it's something to be DONE. Don't be fooled - you don't have to be a woman to support this movement.

Feminism is not the idea of female superiority over the male gender, but rather a crusade for equality.

Sometimes it's as simple as saying "I'm going to wear this today because it is my body", and that's how it should be. I'll wear my Slipknot shirt if I want to. I'll wear dark lipstick that everyone hates... just to piss them off and because, well, I like it. I'll wear my bralette with nothing on top, exposing the bones in my chest if I want to. I'll wear a mens hoodie that drapes over my entire body and is 4 sizes too big for my little frame. I'll wear nothing if I want to. Since when did respect come solely from clothing or what we adorn our bodies with? Since when did that becoming the deciding factor on how we view people? It's MY body, I'll wear what I want. It's MY body, I'll do what I want.

Is my shoulder distracting? What about my boney chest? That's not my problem. It's likely yours.

It seems the monotonous model construct of a perfect woman is to be dainty, with all 'suggestive' body parts covered, who is careful of pleasing others by doing what she is told. By the way, there is absolutely nothing wrong with covering up cleavage or being as fragile as fine china -- that is not the point I am trying to get across, but the over-sexualization breeds a new issue. Why people sexualize a bare shoulder? I don't know. Why schools ban solely females from wearing shorts? A tank top? A rip in her jeans? I will never understand. Clothing and bodily adornments shouldn't be the pinpoint of focus here. People spend too much time obsessing over other people's "modesty" that something as simple, yet important, as education... it gets pushed aside. We need to encourage education. We need to teach kids proper values and how to respect one another regardless of circumstance/race/skin colour/gender/sexual orientation/religion. This is what is important. This is what the kids need. This is ultimately what will make the world go around. It's not always an issue about clothing, it's more of an issue revolving around lack of respect. I hate the comparison between what is "modest" and what is deemed "immoral". A lot of the time, it's beyond more than just a clothing issue - it's way, way beyond that. Respect is respect and if you cannot respect a certain 'type' of woman, you are missing the point completely. You cannot say you actually respect women.

We need to support each other. Girls need to support other girls -- that's the bottom line. I've admittedly had my faults and struggles with this. Jealousy, bitterness and resentment get in the way a lot of the time, but I'm working on it every single day. We need to stop putting each other down/against each other and start standing together; this doesn't just apply to us, but to the entire humankind. When we support each other and when we empower each other, we are unstoppable - I kid you not.

Don't be afraid to speak up; for yourself, for each other. I learned this from watching videos from watching Amber Rose speak at her annual 'SlutWalk', a movement against gender inequality, victim blaming, sexual violence and derogatory labels. Having a voice is not synonymous to being a 'bitch'... if anything, the only 'bitch' it will make you is an educated, honest, vocally engaged badass bitch who knows her worth and will not stick around to hear anything less. It seems that in 2016, people STILL believe that a woman's place is to stay silent, to be fully covered in clothing to be respected, and are viewed to not succeed as far as the typical man would. It's been said that every man has a fear of a strong minded woman and I believe it. You have a voice, so use it. Never let anyone belittle you because you are a woman or go as far as telling you what you can or cannot do because you "aren't strong enough", because you are "too girly" or "not girly enough", let alone -- because you are a girl.

If you couldn't already tell, I'm bewildered that this is still an issue. Yes, I want a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup right now.... but I want equality even more. I haven't even began to touch base on all I have to say.

Peace (an all male band, I might add..) says in their song titled, 'I'm A Girl', "If we're living in a man's world / I'm a girl". Even though I am quite literally a girl, if this world is deemed a 'man's'.... Every ounce of me would still choose to be a 'girl'. Wear dark lipstick, even hot pink, or none at all; whatever your preference is. Paint your nails and flaunt 'em -- but even then, always remember just how fast and easy it is to pull the trigger even with your nails drying.

So shoot.

It's all in your power.

x lj